CoffeeTime: “ADULT SIBLINGS GOOD AND BAD”

If the adult version of you originated in a home that consisted of one child, that shaped you. You very likely grew up having no real concept of ‘sharing-because-you-have-to.’ Two in one bedroom, and having to learn to accept your different preferences? Probably inconceivable. And God forbid ever sharing one bed with a sibling who hogged blankets, or practiced competitive snoring with hogs.

No, you didn’t experience those personality-bending, irritation-building points in your childhood. Most likely, you had your own room with your own toys. So, experiences in learning to share, practicing patience, and having those dead of the night panicky whispered conversations with your sibling roommate about that goblin that lived under the bed didn’t happen too often. The art of give and take, and learning how to really listen to another had to come to you through some other way. 

But on the other hand, if you had so many brothers and sisters that you guys looked like starving locusts surrounding the dinner table every night, then that also definitely had a hand in forming you into the adult you are today.  

You may have been the sibling whose snoring defied the hogs in decibel levels, or the one who defiantly ate the heart out of the just-cut watermelon, or any of the hundred other ways that siblings aggravate and anger the others. Or you could have been the sibling who learned patience with the family’s well-meaning Miss Take Charge. Maybe you were the quiet kid who had to find stealthy ways of quietly defending yourself from - umm - less loving and sensitive siblings. But regardless of your role in your large family, hopefully you eventually learned that sharing can be fun, giving you a foundation for successfully being a team player as an adult. 

Fact; the adult you became is the product of your growing up years. At least partly. But is the child-that-you-were the only factor that influenced you to become the you-of-today? Of course not. What you experienced outside the family walls played a huge part. And personal choices through the years determined the largest percentage of the Adult You. 

After all, deciding to spend your evenings in bars, versus hanging out with church-going adults does create a huge impact on your life. For example, how often have you witnessed a lady who is dedicated to living a wholesome family lifestyle, deciding to marry a man who is a lush and an indiscriminate skirt chaser? Probably not too often. And if you actually have seen that happen, then you have witnessed a case of really poor personal choices put in action.

Childhood siblings. They definitely played a part in ‘you being you’ today. But not that much. You choosing the roads you travel as an adult - now that plays a much bigger part in who you are and who you become.

Studying a map beforehand is important.